I’ve recently started a new job and at regular intervals have been asked by colleagues how I’m doing. The standard response is a quintessentially British I’m fine/I’m ok with not many shades in between. It’s not that I don’t have good moments during my 40-hour week, it’s just that recently I’ve struggled to access the full gamut of my feelings, whatever end of the spectrum they may sit on.

I’m out at dinner and I’m enjoying the company and meal – but am I happy? I feel indifferent about my home – but is this actually a form of muffled sadness about the physical space I occupy? I’m struggling to get excited about future dates in the diary – but is this a case of simple boredom or a primer for anhedonia?

I don’t have the answer for the above, but I have wondered whether the same emotions/feelings feel different depending on your life stage and experiences up to that point. Maybe in the second half of life, for example, joy is closer to a feeling of deep contentment rather than exuberance. Or anger manifests as withdrawal and resentment rather that a series of loud outbursts.

Whatever the case I know it’s something I want to explore more, whether through therapy, on retreat, bodywork or a combination of all three. I really want to name it and claim it, feeling the full energy of each and every one of the feelings available to me.